Friday, October 22, 2010

More research....

Academia = Stupidity...

Scientists at the University of Montreal launched a search for men who had never looked at pornography - but couldn't find any.


Back up to 85!  This is what comes of eating, drinking to excess and failing to exercise for a week... Spotting a familiar pattern of work piling so high that I have time for nothing else, except a bottle of wine to see me through the evening session.  And it's going to be frantic until February at least, so I'd better come up with some willpower somewhere...  maybe the shame of putting weight back on while Dugald thunders down towards 1/10 tonne might do it!


Right - weigh in and I have plummeted below the 9okg mark to 89.8kg - slow progress, but I have been reading about the risks involved in rapid weight loss:

Rapid weight loss creates physical demands on the body. Possible serious risks include:
  • Gallstones, which occur in 12% to 25% of people losing large amounts of weight over several months.
  • Dehydration, which can be avoided by drinking plenty of fluids.
  • Malnutrition, usually from not eating enough protein for weeks at a time.
  • Electrolyte imbalances, which rarely can be life threatening.

Thankfully - with the exception of dehydration, which I tend to work on at the weekend, I have avoided most of these serious risks.

Other side effects of rapid weight loss include:

  • Headaches - normally following dehydration avoidance sessions.
  • Irritability - no chance, it fucking annoys me that this is a side effect.
  • Fatigue - thankfully not happen..Zzzzzzzzzzzz
  • Dizziness - sometimes felt during dehydration avoidance sessions.
  • Constipation - Shit no, I blame the prune juice!
  • Menstrual irregularities - Is it irregular that I'm not???
  • Hair loss - I am in a WORLD OF SHIT!
  • Muscle loss - Muscle? As in love muscle? OH DOUBLE SHIT!

The dangers of rapid weight loss increase with the time spent on the diet, therefore I call for a week off! All in favour say aye!?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Fat Brother is watching you...

OECD says governments must fight fat in Obesity and the Economics of Prevention: Fit not Fat: Press Release | Book Announcement | Book on Online Bookshop | Book on OECD iLibrary

Good to be one ahead of the powers that be.  Mind you, with the Grade A tossers currently in government, I'd like to think any semi-sentient being would be quite substantially ahead on most desirable metrics.   Anyway this bit stood out:

"Yet now more than a third of Scottish 12- year-olds are overweight, a fifth are obese and over one in ten severely obese. The statistics for adults are even worse, with almost two-thirds of men and more than half of women overweight. The situation is better in the other OECD countries, apart from the United States, but obesity is a concern almost everywhere, in the OECD area and beyond."

I think that means Scotland is the second-fattest country in the world! Although that's probably before taking Dugald's recent losses into account, which might move us down a place or two, but still, kinell.  I'm quite used to seeing Scotland in second place - in football matches, for example - but a bit grim to think that only the septics are fatter than us.

Friday, October 15, 2010

It's the bloody beer...

Another small loss this week, despite running and rowing 80km and maintaining a pretty healthy diet... somehow losing weight and getting pissed every night don't seem to fit together very well.  Still, slightly special circumstances with guests and birthday.  Will make more of an effort next week.
Managed to get over 15km for a 1 hour row, but not much spare capacity - not sure where the extra 500m is going to come from.  Need about 22 watts more power, and if I lose 5kgs I'll need only something like 3 watts less for moving my fat arse back and forward.   Might try some motivational software, i.e. projecting hard core POV porn onto the wall in front of me.

Oh, and there's news in from Doogie, who wants to blog but can't quite bring himself to do it.  He says, "So if I get the idea of this blogging thing I'm now meant to report that something very amusing happened whilst I was weighing myself - perhaps being so sleepy I forgot I was holding a baby or maybe that the scales were on the wrong setting - oh the hilarity - if only something that funny had actually happened to me between my bed and the scales. Well you won't believe it but as I am not a sad, self deluded, self important idiot I wouldn't want to make up some shit, I save that for when I am working for Rob (speaking of which you mentioned some cuntsultancy but never furnished me with the details).  Anyhoo Gav hope your shoulder is feeling a little better and Rob hope you had a loverly birthday. 

Enough of the niceties weigh in this morning 107.3, which is not too bad and puts me at 7.5% weight loss over the 6 weeks.  I am, however, looking forward to a night off the running tonight or tomorrow my legs are not feeling the best and last night it was a real struggle on the uphill bits.  Although quite happy that I am now feeling it worst in the legs rather than the lungs."

I think the point Dugald is maybe missing is that no-one else is reading this.  It's just for winding each other up, and motivational sibling rivalry.  You daft fat

See you next Tuesday.

Wahay Day

Right - lost again, don't know how or why - but scales showing 90.2!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Too much weight upon my shoulder...

The positive news is that my leg is, more or less, better. So it was off to Selby for some hooking, throwing and running on Saturday. The result was a 48-0 victory and an outstanding team performance, including an against the head push over and a stunning wrap around centres move involving me, one of the props and a 20 yard sprint to the try line.

The day, and my drive towards the 85kg mark were ruined in the last 2 minutes of the game. I took the ball into contact, was tackled by two of the larger Selby players and the three of us landed on the point of my right shoulder (assuming a shoulder has a point). I have no idea what I have done to it, but it hurts like hell. It's strange how much you rely on your shoulders, simple tasks such as wiping my ass and tying my shoe-laces are now much more labour intensive and painful than they should be. A right handed 5 knuckle shuffle is completely out the window - I'm all for the pleasure / pain thing, but it would be far too much of the latter and none of the former if I were to attempt it.

The positive is that I have not needed to either cough or sneeze as yet - I think a sneeze would actually make me cry a little!

So the diet is all that it is - my dreams of excessive training, excessive dieting and a 2.5kg weekly loss are out the window - over to Dr Rob and Doogie Tuesday for the competition as I will be out of action for a good few weeks / months with this one.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Motivation needed

Slow progress from Gav and me.  Strangely Dugald now reluctant to get on the scales - and I thought I was doing him a favour.  Maybe he needs extra motivation - this, perhaps? 2-5-million-british-men-too-fat-to-see-their-own-penis  Is that why he spends so much time and energy checking his is still there?

Anyway, unless we have a couple of very good weeks, I'm going to have to extend the graph a bit.

How do you guys get on with the calculator on the Dude's page?  Having taken some accurate measurements, it's telling me I'm 20.9% fat, and 3kg over-weight.  Suggests that to get down to the 10-12% fat range I should lose another 7 or 8kg, though I should probably put on a couple of kg of muscle, so something around 80kg might be right long-term.

But then again...

See this.  The moobs live to wobble another day!

Not a chance!

Nice try Gayvee, but no.  I wish it were within the rules, actually, but it wouldn't be fair on Doogie.  If it makes you feel any better, I'm just back from a day in sunny East Sussex (I get all the great trips: Barcelona, Amsterdam, Lewes)  that involved copious sushi for lunch and this evening a full hour in the Eurostar lounge, sampling the wines, which were surprisingly fine.  So no training today, and none yesterday either, as I had to attend a recital of Beatles music played on 5 harps and sung by half a dozen non-English speakers with squeaky voices.  Complete with slide-show to explain the lyrics: they started with "Yellow Submarine" and illustrated "In the town where I was born" with a shot of the Big Ben and the houses of parliament, projected at an odd angle onto the sloping roof of the attic in a Brussels school. Standing room only since an entire music theory class stopped in to spectate. Rather bizarre experience, with limited weight loss potential.  Fearful of a slight increase tomorrow, even if I have a row before weigh-in.  Meanwhile, the moobless Dude is wasting away, already down over 10%!  The thin bastard.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Is it acceptable within the official OBTAF rules to play a joker for one week and not report on weight loss / gain?

Getting on the scales this morning, it would seem impossible that I will lose weight this week - although I haven't particularly cheated and have begun training again! One option would be starvation, but I have a free lunch today with some regulatory training thing I have to go on and, like Dr Rob, I hate to refuse a freebie.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Mixed bag

So the results are in for the fourth week.  Not too bad - half-way there for me - though only 0.5kg down on the week.  Dugald storming ahead though, congratulations to him on losing almost 7kgs in a month!  Guess he'll be feeling the benefits.  Having been ill the first couple of weeks, I'm back to proper training now, and when running, you really feel the difference of being 5kg lighter. 

Back to rowing too, couple of reasonable sub-40' 10km and a fairly comfortable 14.7km in an hour this week.  That's well outside my 'recent' hour PB (15,491m in November 2008), and while I wasn't flat out, there's still no way I could get near that at the moment; might hit 15km.  So there's a lot of work still to do.  But looking ahead for post-weight-loss targets, here's a few: rowing 15.5km for the hour, 38' for the 10km; running 1h30 for a half-marathon, 40' for a 10km.  Will try to knock a couple of those off before Christmas.  Anyone up for a total distance challenge over a week sometime?

Downside of the exercise is it makes me hungry!  I think that's why the weight loss is slow, though I suppose it could just conveivably be due to being pissed 3 nights in the past week.  Anyway, I'm playing the Dude's joker and claiming that muscle gain is masking fat loss.

Enough of this navel gazing nonsense.  Moving on, I'm more than a little concerned by Gavin's post.  Specifically his joy at the idea of some strange, orange, rugger bugger's leathery palm stroking his manhood.   Is there something you want to tell us, GayVee?

Wehay Day

90.7kg this morning, not great, but not bad. The goal this week is to break the 90kg mark. Overall weight loss is just over 9kg with another 5.7kg to go, so my negative mind set has changed!

Assisted the beautiful Janet with some fake tanning last night, but forgot to wash one of my hands afterwards - the effect is that I have one normal looking palm, while the other is the colour of tan leather, not a good look. The positive is that it looks like someone elses hand for those secret moments of self pleasure.