Friday, October 22, 2010
Rapid weight loss creates physical demands on the body. Possible serious risks include:
- Gallstones, which occur in 12% to 25% of people losing large amounts of weight over several months.
- Dehydration, which can be avoided by drinking plenty of fluids.
- Malnutrition, usually from not eating enough protein for weeks at a time.
- Electrolyte imbalances, which rarely can be life threatening.
Thankfully - with the exception of dehydration, which I tend to work on at the weekend, I have avoided most of these serious risks.
Other side effects of rapid weight loss include:
- Headaches - normally following dehydration avoidance sessions.
- Irritability - no chance, it fucking annoys me that this is a side effect.
- Fatigue - thankfully not happen..Zzzzzzzzzzzz
- Dizziness - sometimes felt during dehydration avoidance sessions.
- Constipation - Shit no, I blame the prune juice!
- Menstrual irregularities - Is it irregular that I'm not???
- Hair loss - I am in a WORLD OF SHIT!
- Muscle loss - Muscle? As in love muscle? OH DOUBLE SHIT!
The dangers of rapid weight loss increase with the time spent on the diet, therefore I call for a week off! All in favour say aye!?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Good to be one ahead of the powers that be. Mind you, with the Grade A tossers currently in government, I'd like to think any semi-sentient being would be quite substantially ahead on most desirable metrics. Anyway this bit stood out:
"Yet now more than a third of Scottish 12- year-olds are overweight, a fifth are obese and over one in ten severely obese. The statistics for adults are even worse, with almost two-thirds of men and more than half of women overweight. The situation is better in the other OECD countries, apart from the United States, but obesity is a concern almost everywhere, in the OECD area and beyond."
I think that means Scotland is the second-fattest country in the world! Although that's probably before taking Dugald's recent losses into account, which might move us down a place or two, but still, kinell. I'm quite used to seeing Scotland in second place - in football matches, for example - but a bit grim to think that only the septics are fatter than us.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Managed to get over 15km for a 1 hour row, but not much spare capacity - not sure where the extra 500m is going to come from. Need about 22 watts more power, and if I lose 5kgs I'll need only something like 3 watts less for moving my fat arse back and forward. Might try some motivational software, i.e. projecting hard core POV porn onto the wall in front of me.
Oh, and there's news in from Doogie, who wants to blog but can't quite bring himself to do it. He says, "So if I get the idea of this blogging thing I'm now meant to report that something very amusing happened whilst I was weighing myself - perhaps being so sleepy I forgot I was holding a baby or maybe that the scales were on the wrong setting - oh the hilarity - if only something that funny had actually happened to me between my bed and the scales. Well you won't believe it but as I am not a sad, self deluded, self important idiot I wouldn't want to make up some shit, I save that for when I am working for Rob (speaking of which you mentioned some cuntsultancy but never furnished me with the details). Anyhoo Gav hope your shoulder is feeling a little better and Rob hope you had a loverly birthday.
Enough of the niceties weigh in this morning 107.3, which is not too bad and puts me at 7.5% weight loss over the 6 weeks. I am, however, looking forward to a night off the running tonight or tomorrow my legs are not feeling the best and last night it was a real struggle on the uphill bits. Although quite happy that I am now feeling it worst in the legs rather than the lungs."
I think the point Dugald is maybe missing is that no-one else is reading this. It's just for winding each other up, and motivational sibling rivalry. You daft fat
See you next Tuesday.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The day, and my drive towards the 85kg mark were ruined in the last 2 minutes of the game. I took the ball into contact, was tackled by two of the larger Selby players and the three of us landed on the point of my right shoulder (assuming a shoulder has a point). I have no idea what I have done to it, but it hurts like hell. It's strange how much you rely on your shoulders, simple tasks such as wiping my ass and tying my shoe-laces are now much more labour intensive and painful than they should be. A right handed 5 knuckle shuffle is completely out the window - I'm all for the pleasure / pain thing, but it would be far too much of the latter and none of the former if I were to attempt it.
The positive is that I have not needed to either cough or sneeze as yet - I think a sneeze would actually make me cry a little!
So the diet is all that it is - my dreams of excessive training, excessive dieting and a 2.5kg weekly loss are out the window - over to Dr Rob and Doogie Tuesday for the competition as I will be out of action for a good few weeks / months with this one.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Anyway, unless we have a couple of very good weeks, I'm going to have to extend the graph a bit.
How do you guys get on with the calculator on the Dude's page? Having taken some accurate measurements, it's telling me I'm 20.9% fat, and 3kg over-weight. Suggests that to get down to the 10-12% fat range I should lose another 7 or 8kg, though I should probably put on a couple of kg of muscle, so something around 80kg might be right long-term.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Getting on the scales this morning, it would seem impossible that I will lose weight this week - although I haven't particularly cheated and have begun training again! One option would be starvation, but I have a free lunch today with some regulatory training thing I have to go on and, like Dr Rob, I hate to refuse a freebie.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Back to rowing too, couple of reasonable sub-40' 10km and a fairly comfortable 14.7km in an hour this week. That's well outside my 'recent' hour PB (15,491m in November 2008), and while I wasn't flat out, there's still no way I could get near that at the moment; might hit 15km. So there's a lot of work still to do. But looking ahead for post-weight-loss targets, here's a few: rowing 15.5km for the hour, 38' for the 10km; running 1h30 for a half-marathon, 40' for a 10km. Will try to knock a couple of those off before Christmas. Anyone up for a total distance challenge over a week sometime?
Downside of the exercise is it makes me hungry! I think that's why the weight loss is slow, though I suppose it could just conveivably be due to being pissed 3 nights in the past week. Anyway, I'm playing the Dude's joker and claiming that muscle gain is masking fat loss.
Enough of this navel gazing nonsense. Moving on, I'm more than a little concerned by Gavin's post. Specifically his joy at the idea of some strange, orange, rugger bugger's leathery palm stroking his manhood. Is there something you want to tell us, GayVee?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Thankfully the beautiful Janet has stopped baking, so I have not been bombarded with exciting cookies, biscuits and cakes this week.
The issue I have is that this blog is now depressing me. Not only am I losing weight at a slower rate than my elder brothers, but Dr Rob seems to live a significantly more interesting life than me. So too does one of the Dudes - I can recall posts relating to New York, Paris, Barcelona, Norway, Holland, London....if only I had tried harder at school. I have the joy of travelling from a slightly rough area of Leeds to a really rough area of Bradford on a daily basis. It's got me thinking that being a tad portly may not be the worst thing in my life.
Suicidal rage has built up over the last couple of weeks, but then it hit me: Life could be worse, I could be Doogie Tuesday.....
Now, if only uneducated ranting were a weight loss technique!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Talking of politics, Ed may have stiffed Dave good and proper, but we'll have none of that over here, the eldest sibling is playing to win. 15k run yesterday, 10k row this evening. I'd be quids in, if only I hadn't got totally smashed in between.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Taking into account the piss-up last weekend, and a slight overindulgence in Bergen on Monday - you just can't refuse free alcohol in Norway, though I kind of made up for that by eating only 6 oysters and 4 scallops for dinner - that's not too bad. I was especially good in Amsterdam, and a couple of my livelier colleagues all but fell off their barstools when they saw that I really was going to order a sparkling water. Then I think a brisk run last night took the greasy icing off my abdominal cake. Next couple of weeks could be good: no meetings planned outside Brussels, finally getting over the cold/throat virus, feeling fit and ready to train moderately hard - nothing shifts the pounds like a series of hour sessions on the concept D. Big question mark is weekend alcohol - No1 wife has invited various friends over the coming weekends. But Aikido season starts tonight and that helps keep Fridays relatively dry.
All in all, think I should be able to keep up with the brothers. Bit concerned, however, about the Dude with vestigial Moobs, as I have it on good authority that he was already down to 82kg last week, and is aiming for 76 or lower! I had been hoping to play squash with the Dude in question, not use him as a racket. Still, the Dudes do have 6 weeks head start on the Brothers, so if we compare like-with-like on the timescale, I think we may be slightly ahead... and, stop press, I've just heard that the Dude got back from New York complaining about large portions: good, good. I will, of course, spare you any gags about large portions.
Anyway, lots to do.... so come on Doogie and Gayvee, let's have them hulks on the scales and the masses in mails, I'll get the chart updated as soon as.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Quick update for our plethora of avid followers - diet going well, training non-existent - but hoping to start some light jogging on Saturday. Not expecting anything positive from tommorow's weigh in, but confident Dr Rob and Doogie Tuesday have reached the point where they have to work for every pound...
Monday, September 20, 2010
Diet assistance from travel companies continues, with only a single cup of coffee offered by SAS, during the second leg of Brussels-Oslo-Bergen. Melon and cucumber for breakfast. Hamstrings in top nick and a gym next to the hotel. Looking good.
Now listening to a longwinded discussion on paragraph 2.3.2 subsection (b) of some document I have not read. Norway quibbles; Netherlands throws the rattle out of the pram; bit of shocked silence, then good old UK smoothes the feathers via a stunning display of fence-sitting. Now here come the Germans... For the purposes of this meeting, my badge says I am part of the Swedish delegation. How did that happen? I do not know what the Swedish position is, in fact I only recognise the Swedes because they have a big toblerone with "SWEDEN" on it, right there on the table in front of them. I'm here only to run a 1 hour side-event tomorrow. But today I am being paid to sit in silence at the back of the room, so it would be churlish to complain. Now if only boredom were a weight-loss technique...
But then came the injury as I trod on the ball on Saturday and felt my hammer go ping! I limped around the pitch for the remaining 60 minutes, but am now struggling to walk at all. Training regime out the window, calories reduced to 1500 and fingers crossed for a minor miracle!
Add to this that the wonderful Janet has started to bake (she never cooks) and I am struggling! It is interesting that her new 'hobby' has come around since Rob suggested the losers wife (partner) gives the winner a BJ as the prize. Is she trying to tell me something.....
Onwards and upwards, I can only hope that my competitors have a bad 'un.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
"Yes, I'd noticed that."
When will I ever learn?
Friday, September 17, 2010
As for me, the memories of Monday's excesses have faded from view with a very pleasing 87.5 this morning. Eurostar did help, seems they've given up on the hot food for dinner too, and I turned down all offers of alcohol. This is known in dieting circles as a "training regime". Then got home to find No.1 child had eaten half the dinner No.1 wife had left for me. Normally I'd have throttled the little bastard, then flung off a strongly-worded e-mail to Nicolas Petrovic, CEO of the aforementioned transport company, but as any monk would tell you, with fasting comes serenity, and in my case, recognition of the silver lining to any calorie-reducing cloud.
Now reasonably hopeful for the next few days - street party tomorrow night, but should be able to restrain myself to a reasonable degree, plus a good chance of a long run or two in the forest. Then off to Bergen on Sunday evening. Anticipating rabbit food on the plane, followed by three days of virtual starvation - first in Norway, where I couldn't afford to eat, and then in the Netherlands, where I wouldn't want to. So by the time I get home on Wednesday, I should be well-placed for a final effort, and comfortably ahead of the field.
Of course, on the other hand, I might get smashed off my tits. Time will tell.
A couple of points from Gav's post, by the way. Firstly, it was actually mother who collected me from the clink - though not surprising you've forgotten as you were 10 years old at the time and safely tucked up in bed with your teddy and/or wank sock. Bit unfair to be raking that up, anyway - I did point out yesterday that form was temporary, and that particular conviction is well spent! More interesting is the question of which word or words you didn't understand in my post. The only obvious candidate is 'priapic' - which frankly doesn't surprise me, poor Jayne. Were there any others?
Doogie Tuesday still brings humour to the blog with his complete lack of input, bringing questions from our unofficial followers as to his where abouts and his current mind set. I just tell them that he continues to question his sexuality and they seem happy with this explanation.
My only interesting story of the week involved being stopped in the street by a young lady asking me to take part in a survey. I was asked which grooming products I currently used and she seemed genuinely shocked when I told her "haribos and High School Musical"!
Anyway - as Dr Rob correctly said, it was my Birthday this week (not so much as a card from either of my competitors though)! So the beer, curry, pizza, cake(s) and birthday special of sausage, beans and chips had me worried as I entered the bathroom this morning.
My mood was lower than a teenagers waistband as I stepped cautiously onto the scales. I had contemplated smashing the toilet up, getting arrested and then having my Dad come pick me up from the station, but no-one would do that under any circumstances.....oh hang on a minute.....
The weight came back as 92kg exactly, so a small loss, but nothing to show off about! Totals so far are:
Weigh in: 94.9
Week 1: 92.4
Week 2: 92.0
Dr Rob - graphs, analysis, trends, logs(?) - we have an army of people following this who are all dependent on your updates! Is there any way you can get a nice graph at the top like the 'Dudes with Moobs' have done?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
The digital display shot up past 100, over 150 and onwards above 200....thankfully, through sleep filled eyes I realised that I was being measured in pounds and not kilos. And after a brief spell of undecidedness, the scales finally came to rest at 203.8lbs (converted to 92.4kg)!
Another successful week, meaning I have now lost over 16lbs since my diet began on 14th August. Unfortunately, for the purposes of this competition, my starting weight was a mere 209.2 (94.9kg) - so my official weight loss for the purposes of the OBTAF competition is 5.4lbs or 2.5kg.
Keep up with that you lardy b*stards!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My week has gone well, until today....free lunch at a meeting, a cookie and an eclair have probably spoilt all the good work on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I contemplated bulimia earlier today, but couldn't stomach it.
The plan for tomorrow is:
- Get up
- Have the biggest dump in living history
- Have the longest wee-wee in living history
- Shave my hair (all over), plucking where I can't shave
- Have a shower to get rid of excess hair
- Dry myself
- Allow time for any additional and potentially weighty moisture to evaporate
- Get on the scales
- Post weight on blog.....
I just hope that nervousness doesn't add weight....here's hoping for a BIG loss - as I'm off out for a birthday balti tomorrow night!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Fortunately, I am a doctor, and Dugald is welcome to consult me any time! In fact he doesn't even have to, I'm going to chip in my tuppenceworth anyway. Doogieboo, you need to start slowly, and build up to a regular regime. Start by leaving your seat to change channel - and think how much you'll save on batteries for the remote! Then, after a few weeks, try this:
|'Brisk walks' to prevent cancers|
I saw that and thought immediately of you, Dugald! Partly for the motivating effect that seeing how trim you might look after a year or so of hard dieting could have. But, more importantly, in my professional opinion that activity is absolutely perfect for you. Tailored to your abilities, opportunities and interests. Just remember to replace lost fluids, and
Oh, hang on a minute, that's an 'L'.
Sorry, forget I mentioned it.
"Losers baby sit the winners kids (or cats) for a weekend??" - From Doogie Tuesday, and
"Loser's wife (or girlfriend) gives winner a bl*wjob - obviously!" - From Dr. Rob.
Neither of these really appeal to me for varying reasons. Taking Doogie's suggestion - you cannot compare looking after 3 or 4 children to looking after 2 kittens, add to this that it is a boring suggestion from someone under 40 who seems to be approaching old age and you'll agree that we can ignore this idea.
Now, taking Dr. Rob's suggestion - a) Jayne / Laure / Lena will not agree to this, b) They probably do it differently in France / Russia, c) If this is the 'prize' do you think we could talk Dad into taking part????, d) it's just wrong.
With the crapness of Doogie's suggestion and the inappropriateness of Dr. Rob's suggestion, I have a few ideas of my own:
1. Losers have colonic irrigation to assist with their final goal; and or,
2. Losers have full body wax to assist with their final goal.
If any of our followers (only one so far) have some more ideas, please let us know....
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Well, I'll have more to say on that later. In the meantime, though, it leaves me with a very thorny problem. Doogie "Uribe" Fatboy is even bigger than I thought. And you can see why this causes trouble:
That's right - no sooner was Dugald on the scales, than it became clear he is off the scale. Thankfully, one benefit - in fact, possibly the only benefit - of a PhD in economics is knowing what to do in such a situation: use logs. I don't mean for moving Dugald around (though that's not such a bad idea, I must mention it to his wife), but rather for keeping his exponential gut on the same metaphorical page as the rest of the population.
Sorted. Hopefully, round about the start of November, we might be able to return to a linear scale, if Dugald can get his curves under control.
Monday, September 6, 2010
|So I said "slap that, and ride the ripples"|
Bottom line? If Dugald gets to 95 before I get to 80, I'll eat my cat. Graph to follow.
Current weight is a slightly rotund, but better than it could have been 94.9 kg!
Target is 10% of body weight, so with a little bit of rounding down, I'm aiming for a slender, slim and sexy 85 kg!
My competitors are being slow with their submissions, but my diet hell has begun......
Friday, September 3, 2010
But then I saw Gavin and realised just how bad things were getting.
|Gavin taking some light exercise|
Besides, having torn my calf while being soundly whipped at tennis by a 12-year-old, and consequently missing a whole summer of training, I have to admit I may be a few grammes over my optimum body mass myself. Not actually clinically obese, like the other two, but still a wee bit, well, porky.
So, the race is on. Targets and starting masses to follow...